A Day in the Life of a Horse Owner

 

Waking up at the crack of dawn to feed your hungry brood.

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Waking up at the crack of dawn to feed your hungry brood in the dead of winter.

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Realizing your alarm didn’t go off and your horses are probably tearing the barn down because they’ve assumed you’ve disappeared and are never, ever coming back.

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When your dog runs into the pasture, setting off an instant chain reaction of crazy.

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When you walk into the feed room and find one or more horses casually chowing down on your entire monthly food supply.

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When one of your horses figures out how to let himself out of his stall.

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When you get all dressed up to go out to a dinner you’ve had planned for weeks, and notice just before you roll through the gate that one of your horses is laying down in the colic position.

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When your weanlings work together to pull each others’ halters off and hide them all over the pasture.

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Finding your horse’s nice new expensive blanket in shreds in the middle of the pasture.

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Having only two reactions when people slow down or stop to admire your horses over the fence:

Pride

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—And paranoia.

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Trying to worm your most difficult and stubborn horse.

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When you’re awakened in the middle of the night by your horses running like crazy and you’re 100% sure that this is finally it: giant wolf attack.

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When you run out of the house like a crazy person to defend your precious babies from the giant monster wolf-beasts with nothing but your bare hands and whatever’s in the pocket of your bathrobe.

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When you realize they were just spooked by a squirrel.

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When your horse decides to use the water trough as its own personal swimming pool and knocks it over.

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Realizing that horses are basically what would happen if anxiety had legs, weighed half a ton, and had a top speed of 45 miles per hour.

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